Coming originally from the Diocese of Winchester I was introduced at a fairly early age to the motto of Winchester College - ‘Manners Maketh Man’- conceived by William of Wykeham, Bishop of Winchester from 1366 to 1404. One can only assume that this was William’s attempt to contribute to the contemporary debate on loutish and unacceptable antisocial behaviour as Europe emerged from the Dark Ages into the Middle Ages.

Since then fashions of courtesy and social behaviour have changed both in style and acceptability. Much of what we consider Victorian strictness and prudery has been overturned and debunked until we now find ourselves in a society in the west where anything goes and human life is cheap.

Whatever happened to table manners? The TV happened! Apparently few families sit down to a meal together sharing the events of the day. They sit in front of the telly glued to the latest reality TV show. The art of conversation is in danger of becoming extinct through neglect. Or is it?

What about all those conversations that go on via the ubiquitous mobile phone? That surely is conversation? The text message might well herald the end of the written English language as we know it but the spoken language is alive and well. But how many times do we have face to face conversations interrupted by the call of the ‘mobile’? How many meetings are punctuated by the intrusive call of some ‘little friend’ in pocket or handbag or just lying stark naked on the table top! All those conversations!

Once upon a time it was the height of rudeness and bad manners to butt in and interrupt a conversation unless of course it was a matter of life or death. Dealing with a complicated matter in a shop or office becomes almost impossible when your intimate and personal conversation is broken into by the latest remote ‘caller’. As with the TV we need to learn the discipline of the ‘OFF’ button. This rude intrusion has even become part of church worship, particularly at weddings, and the polite request that mobile phones be switched off are sometimes defiantly ignored.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the mobile phone. The problem is our behaviour, respect and courtesy towards each other. We are becoming the slave of technology rather than the master. It is destroying our civilised way of life based upon good manners, respect and the dignity of all human beings. We need to learn again the importance of those three (or perhaps five) simple words - ‘Manners Maketh Man (and Woman!).’
By the way, the next time a ‘mobile’ goes off near me in the cinema I vow I shall grab it and throw it at the screen! Unless of course William of Wykeham comes to mind first!

Alan Hayday